Research by Hargreaves Lansdown found that only 38% of couples say they don’t row about money.
Of those that do, the most common topic for money disagreements is spending, cited by 13% of respondents, followed by the balance of financial responsibilities (8%), short-term planning (6%) and giving money away (5%).
Other significant topics include bills – such as whether bills are being missed or not having the money to pay them (4%). Debts, meanwhile, also cause arguments, particularly when someone has run them up unexpectedly (4%). And investment choices can be a hot topic for 3% of people.
Younger people aged 18-24 are more likely to row about most money subjects – they’re also least likely to compromise, with less than half (47%) aiming to come to an agreement with their partner, compared to 60% of over-55s.
Looking at the younger age group, 16% argue about spending, 12% about the balance of responsibilities, and 10% about short-term planning. One in 20 also said the main cause of money rows was bills, while just 22% said they never disagreed on money issues.
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Couples who have children living at home are also more likely to argue. This is partly a function of the fact that they tend to be younger and still on a steep learning curve. However, there are also the additional complications that come with children – from having to spread your income to cover more outgoings, to possibly having to deal with periods where your incomes are lower or more unbalanced.
Those aged 55 and over row far less, with 55% of couples in this age group saying they never disagree about money.
Sarah Coles, head of personal finance at Hargreaves Lansdown, said: “Some perfect couples never row about money. They agree on everything, and live in a beautiful harmonious bubble of joy. The rest of us are a bit more human, clashing over anything from spending to saving and debts to investments. If this is how you live, the art is to find a way to tackle these subjects and come to an agreement that leaves you both better off.”
How to solve disagreements about money
Among those who admit they disagree about money, 53% say they end it by compromising.
The next-most common approach is for both parties just to go away and do whatever they want anyway. Overall, 21% of people do this, and the younger we are, the more likely this is.
Researchers at Hargreaves Lansdown suggested this could be because our finances can become more intertwined as we get older, particularly if one person is earning and the other is taking a career break to care. Younger people may simply have more freedom to do what they like.
Coles suggests talking about money as openly as possible. She said: “Your conversations should cover not just where you both stand right now, but also your attitude towards money in general, and what your goals are. It can help you highlight any differences, so you can find ways to work around them, rather than letting them lie at the heart of every argument you ever have about money.
“If you’re falling out over the balance of responsibilities, work out whether there’s enough common ground for you to bring your finances together completely. Joint finances can help by ensuring you both have complete clarity, and can discuss every decision. However, it doesn’t work for everyone.
“If you don’t agree about spending, consider keeping those aspects of your finances separate. The money that isn’t going into the bills account can then be spent on the things that make you happy, without having to agree on every penny.”
